MasterChef Australia Recap Rants

 Fourth and thankfully final episode of Beat the Brigade week. Today Amir, Pete, Justin and Sabina will be cooking against the team from Stokehouse. Amir states the obvious and says they are definitely at a disadvantage today since they are cooking in Stokehouse. In other words, they don’t get the massive unfair advantage the two teams that played in the MasterChef kitchen get and are sure to lose. The Executive Chef Jason Staudt introduces his team today – we have Mark (his head chef), Brenden (the sous chef) and Ashley (their pastry chef).   Mel says today’s theme and therefore the choices the teams get is …. colours. This is absolutely idiotic. Now they have choose and “hero a colour”! No one ever says that they are an expert at cooking things that are yellow or red – everyone has strengths in terms of ingredients or cuisines and techniques. Which makes this challenge completely pointless – and makes it even more impossible for the contestants to win. Andy is sad that this

 Third episode of the Beat the Brigade week. People are pumped because its their home ground which of course gives them a HUGE advantage as we have seen multiple times in the last few seasons. Mel starts the episode by rubbing into the losing teams face that they will be in the elimination tomorrow. Dan is visibly dejected with good reason. Today’s team to take part is Kishwar, Aaron, Tom and Brent. Quite a solid team in my opinion. Aaron says this is a good team because “Tom is a dessert specialist and Kishwar is good with her flavours”.   He then goes on to add how he thinks this team with 3 white guys has “great diversity”.   Today we have the team from a restaurant called Lucy Liu. Jenna North is the head chef and she’s here with her team Khanh , Dane and Zac. Jenna immodestly says everyone is a gun in her team – somewhat setting up a sureshot loss. Today’s choice is that of Eastern vs European pantries. Each team will cook with a different pantry – why would you do this

 Here we go with the second cook in “Beat the Brigade week”. Today Movida will be cooking and they will be cooking at Movida. This seems supremely unfair to the participants – it’s not enough that they are up against professional chefs but have to cooks in their backyard too. It’s particularly bad because 2 teams will get to cook in familiar surroundings (HUGE advantage) and the other 2 won’t. Frank Camorra is still pissed about losing to Marion in S2 and has brought his best chefs – Andreas, Kane and Lily. He’s probably taking this a bit too seriously. Using same token system as the last episode, Jess, Scott, Tommy, and Dan are cooking. Again they have to cook a 3 course meal for 20 diners and the judges. This time they get a choice of ingredients. They go to Andy for the toss – and Andy is surprisingly honest as he says this is his only value add for the episode. The toss once again is won by the contestants – they will choose the ingredient for 2 courses. They choose Lem

 Here we go – another new week at MasterChef Australia. The judges are waiting outside itself and the contestants are puzzled as to what is happening. Kishwar seems inordinately happy – because fresh start, new week yada yada. Andy says there is a big announcement i.e. what the hell is happening this week. He says “Bring out the chefs” and some 16 chefs walk out from 4 of the top restaurants in Melbourne. Tom is excited like anything and is absolutely losing it. Eric also cannot control himself and is hysterical. Kishwar is delusional and is laughing like a mad person adding that she thinks these professional chefs look like they are from the military and they are civilians.   So the way this week works is that every day this week – there are going to service challenges. Every day one team of 4 contestants cooks off against a team of professional chefs from one of the restaurants.   If the contestants win, the entire team gets immunity for this week. The contestants are quite i

 Here we go with another elimination. The contestants enter with no aprons which means something very random is planned for today. Jock wants everyone to bring a spring in their step because they should be happy about one of their friends going home. The last master they are bringing on to end this Masters week is Curtis Stone. Surely one of the main guys they would have wanted to meet – but since Curtis is in LA, this is going to be another pointless virtual presence type thing. Today’s elimination will take place in 2 rounds - the first one is all about beef. First Curtis will basically do what he has done on hundreds of Youtube videos that surely all the participants have already seen before even auditioning for this competition and prepare 8 cuts of beef. Fusion Dan has made the profound observation that cutting meat is not as easy as the professional butcher is making it look. Sabina raises her hand and asks what we do if we want to chuck a prize cut like Scotch fillet

Today’s challenge is all about cooking with fire – and hence the contestants are all waiting outside the kitchen – where they have set up a pantry and 4 cooking stations with fire pits and stuff. When Andy explains what the challenge is all about, Pete is even more nervous than he usually is in every cook, Depinder is feeling good, Scott is excited, and Jess is just happy to be here. Today’s Master is Scott Pickett from the restaurant Matilda 159. He starts off with a masterclass showing how to make fish, prawns and oysters in different ways using the fire. Fusion Dan is picking up a lot of things in this masterclass which means he is sure to burn down the kitchen in some future challenge. We know Scott Pickett is a big-time chef because he completely ignores Mel and Andy and talks only to Jock. Is even helping him with the coals and stuff. Mel and Andy are reduced to asking inane questions to contestants like “Are you enjoying yourselves?” to make themselves useful. Scott ha

 Today we have a mystery box challenge, and everyone enters the kitchen in high spirits. Sabina says it’s been a great week so far, seemingly forgetting the traumatic elimination of Therese just yesterday where everyone was shocking and crying.  Jock says they love mystery boxes because of the faces of the contestants when they lift the lids – and sure enough once the contestants lift the lids, everyone is super happy about the bento box inside the mystery box. Today’s Master is Chef Yomo from Ishizuka in Mekbourne – who enters wearing chef whites but also a tie. Nothing says badass like a man who works in a professional kitchen in a tie.   Chef Yomo says that Bento is all about textures and flavours and more than anything it should make you happy. Now Chef Yomo shows some epic skills – like his take on wagyu beef, sashimi, Japanese style 5 layer omelette, and a vegetable tofu roll – and then …… leaves the kitchen. This is super weird, why not have him stay for the challenge?  

Everyone is super depressed about the pressure test today. Fusion Dan is daunted about surely not being allowed to do fusion. Therese is saying she is not ready to leave the competition. Andy says it’s good they are tense before a pressure test - sharing some valuable experience before rubbing it in their faces that they sucked yesterday. Mel introduces the Master setting the pressure test today – and it’s Kirsten Tibballs. Which means this is going to be chocolate hell. Justin is already devastated – because this is going to be all chocolate and is mentally preparing himself to go home.   Kirsten says she will show people the dishes they will cook – they have to make THREE dishes so this is going to be doozy. Her dishes look amazing and delicate – works of art. The contestants have to make an exotique mousee cake,   style rebellion lollipops and a Ruby financier.   Sadistic Mel is literally laughing at the contestants who are shitting themselves at this stage. Jock tries t

 A new week at MasterChef Australia. Someone takes a leaf from Arsene Wenger’s book and congratulates everyone else for making it to the “Top 18” as if this is some sort of achievement.   Jock explains the concept of this week – it will be people who have honed their skill at one thing over many, many years. They are calling this “Masters Week” – and presumably next week will be called “Chefs week”   The first guest for the week is introduced by Mel who actually does a decent job of not giving away who the chef is in the first 4 words. Today they are joined by the owner of Tipo 00 and Osteria Illaria – Andreas Papadakis. From the stupid grin Elise has on her face, and the even stupider grin Conor has on his face, I guess he is a big deal.     Mel asks Andreas what he will show the contestants today - and to everyone’s shock he says he will make pasta. He has barely started talking and Teachers Pet Elise is already gushing about ….not how great a cook he is, but what a great