Today is the weekly all in elimination. Once again they are entering the kitchen saying “Back in this glorious garden” as if its something new and totally surprising.
This is one complicated elimination –
there are 2 rounds. For the first one, you will be paired up with another
person - and have to cook head to head.
All the losers to the next round. But there is another complication, they get a
total of 90 mins for both cooks – so whatever time you have left after the
first one – that’s how much you get for the second one.
So for round 1 we have - Scott vs Justin,
Brent vs Minoli, Elise vs Pete, Depinder vs Maja (poor Maja), Linda vs Aaron,
and Sabina vs Kishwar. They are all
super nervous and stressed AF.
The judges say things like you will not
know what the other person is cooking or how much time they have used. Andy and
Mel will get excited and ruin this for sure.
They all head to the pantry together and
everyone can totally see what everyone else is cooking lol. So much for
that.
Sabina already knows that the judges are
going to just hand Kishwar the win for making yet another curry - no matter
what she does, so she is wasting no energy or time in Round. She is going to
make a simple tomato carpaccio with prawn oil in 30 mins. Kishwar is
predictably making fish curry – yawn.
Minoli is doing Sri Lankan jackfruit
curry with crispy rice. I would send her to round 2 here itself – why use
jackfruit when you can use meat? She plans to use 45 mins in Round 1. Brent on
other hand is doing something called huli huli chicken – a Hawaiian dish with
barbecued chicken, pineapple and chillies – sounds effing delicious. He is
going super risky though – spending 50 mins to make sure he wins this round.
Elise (shockingly) is making pasta. She
is making orichetti with broccoli with anchovy pangratatto in 45 mins. Pete (shockingly)
is doing something SUPER weird. He is making vinegar sorbet, rhubarb compote, with
almond granita. He is going big in the first round – using 60 mins and is willing
to use more time if he needs to. For the viewers, he is also helpfully telling
us how fucked up this strategy is – and then still sticking with it. On the
bright side, this is only the second stupidest approach ever taken in this sort
of round – after Poh last year who used the entire 90 minutes in Round 1 –
guaranteeing that she was eliminated if her dish didn’t turn out well.
Depinder is also predictably doing an
Indian curry (a Prawn moilee) and aiming at 45 mins. Maja is using all her
experience and instead of making simple, perfect dishes like the ones which got
her back into the competition is trying to make a savoury panna cotta with parmesan
and ricotta. She plans to use 30 or 45 mins in round 1.
Linda is making steamed scallops with a
South East Asian dressing, and Aaron is making mushrooms a couple of different
ways with an oyster emulsion.
Justin is making bang bang cauliflower
using 45 mins, while Scott is making pipis in XO sauce in 30 mins.
In the middle of all this - Poor Tommy
has been told to pep up everyone and is doing a TERRIBLE job of encouraging
people from the gantry.
30 mins in and Sabina is done as per plan. Andy yells and announces to the whole room
that she is done – so much for ‘won’t know how long the other person is taking’.
Hilariously Kishwar isn’t even in the kitchen at this point, and Andy actually
goes into the pantry to look Kishwar to tell her Sabina is finished. Kishwar is
not bothered at all with this – since its not like she can just randomly change
her 45 min cook halfway in - not to mention
that with a curry that the idiot judges have no clue about, she will win
regardless of how good or bad it is.
Now Linda has started plating and sure
enough – Attention Whore Andy is there not only talking to Linda – but
constantly distracting her while at the same time pressuring her to move quickly – which
is mindbogglingly idiotic even for a dumbfuck like Andy – since this is not
even a deadline – it is up to Linda to decide how long she needs to
use.
She is done and now Andy is happy since
he has got to yell – and make his only contribution to the judging panel for
this episode.
I’m worried for Brent for he has not even
started cooking his chicken. He seems to be getting super emotional and looks
way more stressed than the others.
Maja has taken her panna cotta out – it
is not even remotely set. Andy amazingly actually says something sensible that
it is better to quit and keep the time for Round 2 (which is a surety today, as
no matter what, the judges are going to hand this win to Depinder).
For good reason, Maja decides to ignore
Andy and stick with her dish because “she is not a quitter”. This makes no sense at all – as all she has
to do is wait for the other panna cotta to come out of the steamer – its not
like there is any effort she can put to make this cook go better. In her place,
I would have done a 10 minutes cook and served a fried egg or something to the
judges – and happily kept 80 minutes for Round 2.
Mel is feeling left out that Andy is
getting do all the stupidity in this episode and now she comes over and talks Elise’s
ear off WHILE she is plating.
Pete is explaining how his super weird
dish works. Andy says that the very evidently liquid sorbet to even completely
novice viewer eyes, is liquid. Andy now tells
Pete to get moving as if he can make the churner churn faster or the sorbet set
faster.
This is worst I’ve seen Andy in a while –
last few episodes, he has pared down the idiocy – but now all of it seems to
have come out together in this episode.
Now Depinder is also done with 43 mins
left – and for some reason Maja is still hoping this steamer that she has no
control whatsoever on will work out for her.
Maja’s panna cotta finally sets at
something like the 55 minute mark - Andy is laughing like an idiot that the
panna cotta is set.
Pete, the last one left, has finally
finished cooking in 59 minutes.
Tasting for Round 1
Elise vs Pete:
Andy says Elise’s pasta was very well
executed. He says he wouldn’t change a thing about the pasta. Mel also says
pasta is very good. Jock says textbook and delicious.
To Pete, Jock says it’s a very complex
dessert – but very delicious as well. Mel says it’s very sophisticated – and
then praises the presentation and adds a pointless “It’s synonymous with who
you are”
Andy and Mel then tag-team to pile on the
stupid takes while Jock ignores them entirely. Apparently Andy and Mel are
‘wondering’ whether an evidently home cooked pasta would compare to the
Michelin star restaurant quality dish from Pete. As if this is even a
comparison!
Depinder vs Maja:
Jock says Maja’s dish was beautiful to
eat, but the texture was grainy. Lol she spent 1 hour cooking against the
strongest cook in this competition and this is the outcome.
Depinder’s dish is mindblowing – Andy
admits he is a terrible cook and is certain Depinder would kick his ass in a
competition like this. He is jealous that she could do this in 45 mins. Jock who
is surprisingly understated today says “its perfection”
Welcome to Round 2, Maja.
Sabina vs Kishwar:
Sabina says she is not sure if she’s done
enough in round 1 which is one of those random canned lines they keep
inserting. Mel asks Kishwar what was the thinking behind the cook – and she
says she wanted to drive flavour. You know, as opposed to all other forms of
cooking that have existed in the last few hundred years.
All judges thought Sabina’s dish was
delicious – but we all know what’s coming. Kishwar is sure to win this.
Aaron vs Linda
Linda’s scallops are good and the sauce
is killer. Aaron’s proportions are out of whack – so surely he’s in round
2.
Justin vs Scott
Mel says Scott’s XO sauce is garbage –
while Justin puts up a surprisingly competent dish.
Brent vs Minoli
For Minoli - Mel says the jackfruit is a
great vehicle for the sauce and that it is surprisingly meaty. Jock – who has a
soft spot / insanely high standards for sri Lankan food - also loved it.
For Brent - Mel says it was a tropical
blast and that she really liked it. Jock says that was an absolutely perfectly
cooked chicken, and adds that it was epic cooking. Andy says it needed salt. Oh
fuck you man - it seems like Andy has a
thing against Brent – whenever everyone else loves the dish, he comes up with
the flooziest of criticisms like “needed more salt” – he did this even for the
last chicken dish Brent cooked. I mean if notorious Salt Nazi Jock thinks its
perfect, do we really need to listen to this idiot?
Results
They start with the obvious losses -
Scott, Aaron, Maja. Well of course, Kishwar is handed the win – Sabina is in
round 2. Pete wins against Elise -which was a close to literally no one
including Pete and Elise except Mel and Andy.
Brent also loses because of Andy.
Brent seems super gutted – he puts up his
hand and says he can’t cook. Dafuq did I just see?!
Jock takes him aside – Brent says mentally
he is just not there, that the competition is affecting his mental health, he
is missing his wife and kid and that he can’t break it. Brent says he has
nothing left – and he is sure about not cooking again.
This is super super sad.
Holy fuck even Jock is choking up – now no
doubt strongly regretting not telling Andy to shut the fuck up and know his
place at the bottom of the pile of judges.
Man this is the saddest moment ever on
Masterchef – Jock gives him his bead bracelet, Brent seems sure about this.
Literally everyone is crying – Jock and
Mel are bawling, as are the contestants. Andy - heartless stupid fuck who
probably still hasn’t understood what has happened is the only one who seems to
be cool with this.
Fuck – what a way to lose one of the
coolest contestants ever on MasterChef.
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