Today we have an immunity challenge - the 4 contestants Linda, Kishwar, Tommy and Depinder are walking towards Kate Reid’s Lune Croissanterie.
The judges make small talk with Jock
asking Tommy his pastry skills (Tommy says negative 10) and Andy says Kishwar
is looking to show her pastry skills (She corrects him saying “Sweets” because
when South Asians say “Sweets” we mean “SWEET!” and take that very literally
thank you very much)
Jock says Lune makes the best croissants
in the world – all French and Austrian viewers are currently throwing stuff at
the TV.
Kate Reid has had an insane life – she is
an aerospace engineering grad and works in F1. She is now automatically the
most awesome person in this kitchen.
Mel explains that they have no faith
whatsoever in the contestants – and that they will be given the shaped proofed
item and they just have to bake it. Even they could not screw this up.
The contestants have to use it in a dish
that might feature on the menu of Lune Lab – which is an experimental thing
they do here. For some reason, the contestants are given tokens and have to
choose one of 8 possible breads. Not sure why this was required, they could
have just let everyone choose what they want.
Anyway, Kishwar goes first and chooses
traditional croissant. She says she chose this as the possibilities are endless,
post which she lists out these possibilities as “sweet sandwich or savoury
sandwich”.
Tommy goes for Danish, Linda goes for the
vol au vent, and Depinder goes with the half pipe.
For some reason, Kate says she wants the
croissant to be the hero. What is this weird obsession with hero-ing bread this
season?
The other contestants are bored out of
their minds and are entertaining themselves by cheering for random mundane
things – like Depinder picking up limes. No group of people has ever been more
excited to see anyone pick up limes.
Tommy thinks the Danish pastry reminds
him of a baguette – so he’s going to make a bahn mi. In the interest of time, I
think it’s best to simply give him the immunity and just let everyone go home.
I mean, bahn mi is one of the most amazing things ever created – nothing is
going to beat a bahn mi.
Linda has not put in the weighted moulds into
her vol au vent like Tommy had in his danish – so either it’s a totally different
cooking method or she’s fucked this up monumentally.
Kishwar is putting rose water on the
croissant for colour. She seems to going for a sweet today.
Depinder has decided that she needs to go
insanely complex to win immunity today. So she is doing a spiced ginger cake, a
chai crème pat, a poached pear, ginger cream and an orange Chantilly.
Linda (shockingly) wants to play with South
East Asian flavours and is doing a red curry. Aaron, ever helpful and alert,
has now asked her 20 minutes into the cooking, why she has not put her moulds
in like Tommy did. And now she has realized she has screwed up the most
important and easiest part of this challenge and has surely lost this. She has now
pulled them out, added the mould and put it back in.
Tommy is cracking on with this 100%
immunity winning bahn mi. Kate has come over and she loves the idea.
Mel says “No half baked ideas, 45 mins to
go” which is actually reasonably clever word-play which Jock ruins by
mansplaining to everyone.
Linda is focusing on her flavours. One of
the other contestants are clearly super bored and saying stupid things like “Think
of ultimate vol au vent of your dreams”. We poetically cut to Kate now, who
says Linda’s cooking of the croissants is a disaster, taking out the croissants
was a huge error and that they will collapse like a sponge cake. After this
super bleak picture, Linda is super optimistic for some reason.
The judges are discussing what the
contestants are cooking. Kate is worried about how sweet Kishwar and Depinder’s
dishes are going to be. Everyone agrees Linda is already out of contention. And
everyone is waiting for Tommy’s dish – she says if this is good enough it will
be in the lune lab. Seriously why are we even bothering with this challenge.
Depinder has Pete-ed this challenge and
has fuck load of things to do in very little time. She asks how they are going for time – but no
one helps because there is no big clock and apparently no one has a watch.
Someone is telling Linda she is having a
good day – really rubbing in her misery.
Mel has come NOW - with 30 minutes to go,
after the judges discussed all the dishes - to Linda’s bench to ask what she is
making.
Andy is asking if Tommy’s bahn mi is
going to be better than the original. Not sure why this needs to be true – it
simply needs to be better than the other 3 dishes. Kate shuts Andy up and once again she says
she thinks the idea is genius.
Kishwar is (well of course) making
rossogulla (hahahah ricotta ball it seems) and she is going to cook it in
orange cinnamon rose water. But her rossogulla
is not the right consistency – and now she has already described it as a
ricotta dumpling and a doughnut. She can’t use the rossogulla at this
consistency, so she’s using it as a cream.
Tommy is focusing on making his bahn mi
perfect. His beef fillets look brilliant – and Mel thinks that coming over with
5 mins to go is perfect timing to ask “How badly he wants immunity”.
Over on another bench, Jock is asking
whether Kishwar is going to get her dish finished with literally 20 seconds to
go.
The cooks is over – Depinder sees Tommy’s
dish and knows immediately that there is no hope and she’s going to lose this
one. Linda is still ludicrously optimistic and thinks her own dish can be on
the Lune Menu.
The Tasting
Tommy up first. Andy against asks “Is it
going to be better than the original”. And again, the other judges shut him up
and start tasting.
Kate says this is the essence of a Lune Lab
dish. Andy’s value add here is that the pastry is perfect – before he realizes
that Tommy has nothing to do with the pastry. Now he goes with his stock “I
can’t fault it”. Mel says its extraordinary cooking.
Linda’s dish has a good combination of
flavours – but none of this matters because the pastry is not perfectly cooked,
the texture is off, it is too dense.
Depinder brings her dish. She says she is
super happy about how the pastry is front and centre ….. on a dish with 7 other
BIG elements.
Jock says the poached pears were slightly
undercooked – the other stuff was great but the pastry got lost. Kate also says
all elements are delicious – but the pastry was mostly absent.
Kishwar is calling this a Kolkatta croissant.
Andy says congrats on the pastry (again forgetting that her net contribution
here was to not screw up putting them in the oven). Kate likes the idea of
ricotta through Chantilly. Kishwar goes out thinking she will actually beat a
bahn mi lolz.
Results
Kate is so impressed with the winning
dish that she wants to actually put it on the Lune Lab menu. Andy for some
reason thinks people care about immunity after this announcement.
In an event that surprises literally no
one - Tommy wins. Amazing stuff from him – bahn mi danish. Uff.
Shut up and take my money.
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