Here we back in another elimination for some reason. The Grey team from yesterday come into the kitchen - Aaron is feeling nervous, Dan is feeling super nervous.
Andy tries to spin this nonsense elimination as “they get to
cook again”.
Today’s superstar chef is Massimo Bottura – who is his usual
colourful, passionate self. He demonstrates his version of Mac and Cheese. He
uses parmigiana water to cook the pasta, and now he’s making a parmigiana
cream. This is a totally useful recipe for everyone because Parmigiano is such
a cheap, readily accessible ingredient.
He also encourages people to use their imagination and to
use whatever they find in their fridges. He then proceeds to put in some 700
cheeses he happens to have in his fridge at that point in time and then puts
the mac and cheese into the oven to bake. A few minutes later he produces the
best and probably most expensive mac and cheese ever made.
Katrina is inspired. Mel meanwhile is laughing at Massimo’s
accent – classy move. The pressure is
too much for Dan, who is delusional and thinks he can smell the mac and cheese through
the screen.
Massimo now asks the contestants to cook their own versions
of mac and cheese and adds that he wants to taste ‘emotion’ – whatever that
means. The top 3 dishes will be safe and the rest will have to cook again.
Pete is taking risk by making a mac and cheese he makes for
his kids that also somehow reminds him of a cheese board – by making a
strawberry glaze. Jock is lost for words at the sheer stupidity of this
idea.
Aaron is taking inspiration from Jock’s masterclass last
season and is making a 3 hog mac and cheese. Just the description is giving me
a heat-attack.
Mel tells Andy and Jock that she likes ALL kinds of mac of
cheese – thus escaping from giving a food related opinion on even such a simple
dish.
Katrina says she’s a very creative person, no one believes
her and so she is making a point by putting blackberries in her mac and cheese.
She is making a blackberry jam and is hoping the saltiness of the cheese will
go well with sweetness of jam. I mean just make a mac and cheese – why do these
guys take such risks on eliminations? Jock likes the creativity but does a raspberry
as the prospect of blueberry in a mac and cheese.
Andy is excited that he is getting a dish everyone and their
uncle can cook and randomly shouts “Mac and cheese, mac and cheese, mac and
cheese” before letting everyone know there are 45 mins to go.
If you thought Katrina was doing something crazy, Tominator
says hold my engine oil, and informs us that he is doing something even more insane.
He is making a caramelized onion and mac
and cheese mille feuille. Rough puff itself in one hour is madness – but to try
to force something like that with mac and cheese seems nuts. Jock says he likes
the creativity which is his way of saying “This is an insane idea, what the
fuck are you thinking?”
Now Sadistic Mel is reminded that not only does she get to
eat mac and cheese, but also gets to destroy confidence and crush another
contestants hopes and dreams and she too spontaneously yells “Mac and cheese,
mac and cheese, mac and cheese” before letting everyone know there are 30 mins
to go. Whatever joke they were going for, it’s terrible.
Aaron rhetorically asks the universe “How good is pork?”
while stuffing half a pig into his small mac and cheese bowl.
Finally the judges remember the Asians – and go to check on
Linda, Dan and Therese.
Linda is doing a Spanish style mac and cheese with roux and
double layers of chorizo. Therese is infusing pork into the cream itself –
sounds like a great idea. Dan is going Asian – and making buldak (Korean fire
chicken) mac and cheese. Mel (who 20 mins ago said she likes ‘ALL mac and
cheese’) tells Dan that she likes ‘OG mac and cheese’ as if he can make
fundamental changes to his dish now with 20 mins to go.
Eric is super pumped up in gantry, Conor is wearing grandma
glasses and is also excited, and Aaron is inordinately excited at his pressure
cooker going off.
Andy now is feeling left out and screams “Bring us mac and
cheese!” Everyone continues to ignore him. Failing to read the room he screams
the same thing again. This is now getting sad.
Coming to the tasting.
Mel says she must have done something right in past life to
deserve this job – incorrectly believing she deserves this job, which should
have gone to any from a number of other more capable women on the Australian
food scene.
Linda’s dish is liked by all. Jock particularly liked the
chorizo which made the dish whole for him. Andy is satisfied now that’s finally
been fed. Mel doesn’t bother commenting on the food as usual and says that it
speaks of “home and love”.
Dan brings out his Buldak mac and cheese. He gives the
longest description of a dish in Masterchef history explaining how he planned
to stand out and impress the judges – like bro this is ‘Manipulation101’ – You don’t
tell people you are manipulating them!
The judges don’t care at all about Dan’s long explanation
and have already started eating the mac and cheese. Now that it is good, Mel says she likes that
he is committed to his approach to food.
Pete brings up his abomination – Mac and cheese and
strawberry jam on the side. Andy confesses to having no taste since his childhood
days where he would put ketchup on mac and cheese. Jock is disgusted at this
and immediately makes a mental note to get Andy fired. The dish, as expected, is
bad and has too many random competing flavours.
Now Katrina brings her abomination. Her blackberry jam is
even more reduced and screws up the entire dish.
Everyone likes Therese’s dish – calling it simple,
sophisticated and elegant.
Aaron takes sucking up to a new level as he brings beer and tells
Jock that he is inspired his Masterclass last year. Mel gives some generic
gyaan, Andy says he likes it - Jock is still eating. He continues eating while
saying he loves it – so clearly Aaron’s strategy worked.
Tom’s dish is not good – this doesn’t feel like mac and
cheese at all – more like tart or quiche says Mel. Andy laughs in his face
about the pastry being super subtle in his I-told-you-so ness .
Linda, Aaron and Therese are in the top 3 – tough luck for
Dan as he had a good dish and is now stuck with the other 3 who put up terrible
dishes.
Massimo comes on again and now asks them to show him what
they can do with bread. He demonstrates how he makes noodles out of breadcrumbs
– which is an awesome idea. Just when you think it is nice homely thing to make
with leftover stuff, he puts black truffle and gold leaf on the dish!
The 4 cooks have 75 mins to complete a dish featuring bread.
Massimo asks everyone to use creativity – Katina is super
pumped up and so I am pretty sure she is going to go overboard and get herself
eliminated.
Dan is making noodles that he just saw Massimo make 5 mins
ago – super creative bro.
Pete is doing a salted caramel bread pudding, Katrina is doing
an orange bread and butter pudding.
Apparently no one has done anything in the first 45 mins –
and we have only 30 mins to go.
Tom is making a crème brulee ….with bread. He tells Andy he is putting bread in to ‘perfume’
the custard. I suspect he has been sniffing something else on the side and has
totally lost it. Andy tries it and walks away immediately in disgust – and Tom decides
to ditch the main element of his dish and do something different. This is a
prudent move, as if even Andy doesn’t like your dish, imagine how bad it must
be.
Conor says if Katrina can ace a bread challenge, she can do
anything – subtly implying that this is a terrible challenge because it was
obvious that everyone would make bread pudding.
Everyone is excited to see how Dan’s noodles have turned
out. They look terrible. As if everyone in the room is blind, Andy feels the
need to announce “Oh no! He’s had a blowout!” rubbing Dan’s failure in his
face.
Now with 5 mins to go, Dan has to think of something else to
do – Andy feels this is the right time to come and say that he needs to think
of the brief – which is basically one word long – “Bread”. Andy also gives sage
advice that Dan needs to think on his feet – I wonder how Dan would have
thought if not for these inspiring words.
Dan is now making balls instead. He’s not bothering with his
original idea of cooking in the duck broth, but is now frying them. He says he
wants to prove to the judges that he can do this – which is odd, because surely
the judges know that he can fry things.
Tom is thinking what he can do to add more bread to this
dish, and, with 2 mins to go, decides on French toast. This seems like a random mix of spices but it
might just work. Conor helpfully tells everyone that presentation is important.
Final Tasting
Tom calls his dish “Textures of Spiced Bread”. Full points
for the name I say. It does seem like an interesting dish. Mel and Andy are waiting
for Jock’s opinion so they know how to feel. Jock says he enjoys the dish and
that’s settled.
Katrina next with her bread and butter pudding with an orange
twist. Her description of the dish is so long they don’t bother with small talk
and ask her to get out while they can taste.
Everyone agrees that the dish is delicious but it doesn’t taste enough like
bread.
Pete’s salted caramel bread pudding has turned out really
tasty.
Dan in next. He says he tried to make noodles because he
likes to “Grab the bull by the horns and go balls to the wall”. Andy’s face
lights up and he tries hard to not make a dirty joke. The dish is not great –
but the judges have decided that since Dan literally made bread balls and fried
them – this is somehow impressive.
They thought the dish looked bad, and also didn’t taste all
that great, but since the fried bread tastes like bread, looks like they will
throw out Katrina.
The judges come out for the results. Tom is told clearly that
he is safe. Pete is told that his dish was bready – he is confused about what
Jock is saying because “your dish tasted like bread” is not a compliment – but he’s
safe. Dan’s dish was garbage but hey – the bread was there. So poor Katrina has
to go.
To rub it in, the judges tell her the dish was delicious,
and she should not have bothered cooking, she could have just fried some bread
to survive. Katrina is irrationally positive about this – though this may be
just her realizing that this season is anyway a pointless waste of her time and
heads out quite happily.
Next up – we have a mystery box and I imagine this will be followed
by a triple elimination because fuck the contestants, let’s get this over with.
We are only 7 episodes in, and I have already given up on this
season.
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